"There are easier things in life then trying to find the perfect boyfriend, like nailing jell-O to a tree."

• 25Mar 08

  Long Time, No Blog!

  Hey, nothing massively new has happened recently. Just a bunch of school drama that should go away. There are plenty wonderful things to look forward to in life. The flowers blooming in spring, Summer vacation, Prom, New friendships, a new perspective, and a darn good book!

  On a brighter side, There are a handful of new books I'm watching for nowadays.

  First of all and officially the best. Twilight Series, Breaking Dawn by Stephine Meyer. An excellent series about vampires, recommended by Steven King and me! Second is Brisingr by Christopher Paolini. A exciting tale about dragons and war. Heh, what can i say! Third, but certainly not least is Ink Death by Cornelia Funke. About a young girl who can read people out of books!

  That's it! I'll try and keep you up to date!

  • Posted Mar 25, 2008 5:31 pm PT
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• 20Feb 08

  Aeris10102's Graphic Shoppie!

  Well, I have been pretty bored lately, so I decided to open a little shop for graphics! ^^'

  Only friends of Slayergirlkal and myself may request graphics! So there!

  If you need a few examples of my work go here: Here

  

  Just leave a comment that you want one and I will pm you. Unless you wish to pm me first! ^^'

  • Posted Feb 20, 2008 1:27 pm PT
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• 17Feb 08

  Funny Lawyer Sayings!

  These are from a book called Disorder in the
  American Courts, and are things people actually said
  in court, word for word, taken down and now
  published by court reporters who had the torment of
  staying calm while these exchanges were actually
  taking place.
  
  
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
  
  WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect
  your memory at all?
  
  WITNESS: Yes.
  
  ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
  
  WITNESS: I forget.
  
  
  ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
  something you forgot?
  
  _____ _ __________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said
  to you that morning?
  
  WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
  
  ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
  
  WITNESS: My name is Susan.
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been
  involved in voodoo?
  
  WITNESS: We both do.
  
  ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
  
  WITNESS: We do.
  
  ATTORNEY: You do?
  
  WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
  person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
  
  WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old,
  how old is he?
  
  WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
  taken?
  
  WITNESS: Are you kidding me?
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
  
  WITNESS: Yes.
  
  ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
  
  WITNESS: None.
  
  ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
  
  WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different
  attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
  
  WITNESS: By death.
  
  ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
  
  WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
  
  WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
  
  
  ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning
  pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
  
  WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have
  you performed on dead people?
  
  WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead
  people. Would you like to rephrase that?
  
  __________________ __ ____ ___ _____________________
  
  ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What
  school did you go to?
  
  WITNESS: Oral.
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined
  the body?
  
  WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p. m.
  
  ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
  
  WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering
  why I was doing an autopsy on him.
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
  
  WITNESS: Huh.... are you qualified to ask that question?
  
  ________________________________________________
  
  --- And the best for last: ---
  
  
  
  ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,
  did you check for a pulse?
  
  WITNESS: No.
  
  ATT ORN EY: Did you check for blood pressure?
  
  WITNESS: No.
  
  ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
  
  WITNESS: No.
  
  ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient
  was alive when you began the autopsy?
  
  WITNESS: No.
  
  ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
  
  WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in
  a jar.
  
  ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still
  been alive, nevertheless?
  
  WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
  alive and practicing law.

  • Posted Feb 17, 2008 12:13 pm PT
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