DESPAIR -- it's always darkest... just before it goes pitch black.

• 17Oct 07

  lonely rolling star

  This song makes me feel sad

  Katamari Damacy - Lonely Rolling Star

  hidamari sansan
  kokoro wa haremoyou
  futatsu no hitomi wa
  himawari no tane no you
  -
  The sunny spot, brilliant and bright
  My heart looks like clear skies
  Those two eyes of yours
  Look like sunflower seeds

  katarai kasanari
  katamari karamari
  issho ni iru koto
  zettai hitsuzen
  -
  Chatting, piling up,
  katamari entangling
  Being together
  is absolutely necessary

  demo anata daiji na yume wo egaku
  owaru made wa zutto sou koko de matteiru
  -
  But you are painting an important dream
  Until you're done, I'll be waiting here always

  You're lonely rolling star
  tachidomaranaide nee
  You're lonely rolling star
  saa mae wo muite yukou
  -
  You're lonely rolling star
  Don't stand in one place, ok?
  You're lonely rolling star
  So, face forward and let's go!

  hoshi.zorakirakira
  konpeitou no you
  amakute setsunai
  omoi ga tsunoru no
  -
  The stary sky twinkle twinkle
  It's just like confetti
  These sweet yet painful
  Feelings grow intense

  dakishimeta omoi wa yozora wo mai
  kyuukoukashi.te anata no moto e todoku kara
  -
  These warmly embraced feelings dance in the night sky
  And rapidly plummet and arrive at your feet, so

  You're lonely rolling star
  akiramenaide yo nee
  You're lonely rolling star
  tama ni wa denwa shi.te
  You're lonely rolling star
  aitai yo ima sugu
  You're lonely rolling star
  haa tameiki ga hitotsu koboreru
  -
  You're lonely rolling star
  Don't ever give up, ok?
  You're lonely rolling star
  Give me a call once in a while
  You're lonely rolling star
  I want to meet you right away
  You're lonely rolling star
  Haa, a single sigh escapes

  raigetsu mata ano basho de machiawase shiyou ka
  -
  Shall we meet again next month at that place?

  You're lonely rolling star
  tachidomaranaide nee
  You're lonely rolling star
  omoidashi.te yo nee
  You're lonely rolling star
  matterarenai no nee
  You're lonely rolling star
  saa mae wo muite yukou
  -
  You're lonely rolling star
  Don't stand in one place, ok?
  You're lonely rolling star
  Remember me, ok?
  You're lonely rolling star
  I can't wait for you, ok?
  You're lonely rolling star
  So, face forward and let's go!

  * * *

  It's pretty simple, I can set it up and play it by myself using 2 keyboards. But why, why a lonely rolling star?

  I miss my sister. It's hard to explain if you don't have a twin. We could look into each other's eyes and tell what the other was feeling. She was the light to my shadow. The mirror to my secrets and dreams. The voice in my head I could trust. And now she's dead and I'm alone... a lonely rolling star.

  omoidashi.te yo ne?
  matterarenai no ne?
  aitai yo ima sugu
  -
  Remember me, ok?
  I can't wait for you, ok?
  I want to meet you right away

  

  /wrist

  • Posted Oct 17, 2007 9:23 pm PT
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• 15Oct 07

  happy holiday

  Happy Eid to all my muslim friends. We visited several houses in fine Malaysian tradition, and ate and ate and ate I think I gained a kilo -_-"

  Been reading a lot recently. Well, technically it would be re-reading, but there isn't really much happening in the places I bookmarked. Generally, when something is done as a hobby and not as a living, updates really take time to appear, heh. Then again, who am I to talk >_>

  Came across an old piano tune that I never got around to practising, finally had a go at it in between grinding on 2Moons. I think I'm gonna quit it, it's just another lame grindfest with the additional fatal distinction of not being admined properly - just listen to all the gold farmers advertising their "services" ingame.

  I'm not about to waste my time on a pay MMORPG, besides they're not really all that good either, just look at Archlord for example (it was pay2play before Codemasters (the publisher) re-released it as a free2play game with a Cash Shop). Buggy as all get out, and fairly poor latency / movement prediction. I'm in the market for a decent, simple, even browser-based MMO. Oh, I'm still playing DW:SoE, but it's just TOO simple (heh). I never was a great fan of Enix's Dragon Quest franchise anyway (having Toriyama-sensei (of Dr. Slump and Dragon Ball fame) as their art director doesn't help either, I don't like his sty1e).

  • Posted Oct 15, 2007 7:44 am PT
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• 8Oct 07

  laughing and crying

  It's kinda late, but I just read GaaraDesert333's recent blog post about, well, offing himself. Fortunately he didn't. But still. Dude, you're lucky you have so many friends who responded. Treasure them.

  For some reason it reminded me of the guy in that Eminem song, Stan. Sure, people like to laugh at how pathetic he sounds, but when that you live through that kind of sh!t, it's not so funny now is it? Being different, being alone, being laughed at. Feeling lost, isolated, shut out. Malice. Misery. Illness. Suffering. Pain. Despair. Death... Think how poor Ryouga felt, shunned as a freak and a dangerous maniac with a loaded chi attack. Small wonder the Perfect form of the Shi-shi Hokodan takes himself out as well. The kind of misery you need to summon to gather enough heavy chi for that effect, you'd want to die too.

  Lately I've noticed that it's way more soothing for me to practise my guitar technique rather than the keyboards (I probably don't need any more piano/keyboard practise anyway, yes I know, I'm so modest ). If you're distracted, that kinda rules out the woodwinds, plus it's easier to channel your frustrations through an electric guitar, that's what amps are for... Izumi was kind enough to accompany me on rhythm through Dragonforce's Deathsquad Revolution, and I must say that spiralling through the 5:28 - 6:40 grind is intense enough to take my mind off how badly things have been. How can you not feel anything but exhilarated, running through that at lightspeed, in the middle of a darkened studio with the bay windows closed against the lashing storm outside?

  On the flip side, I could be playing Haikei, Akane-san, but like I said, I'm not going down Ryouga's path. Despair is a dangerous itch to keep scratching.

  * * *

  Another friend recently asked me to check out a couple of other MMORPGs. Archlord was interesting, but suffered from similar control/lag response flaws most 3D MMOs with that aspiring to reality look suffer from. Plus the character stats were auto-allocated. Then I tried out Acclaim's 2Moons... and I have to say, it looks mighty interesting at the moment. Another GameGuard protected game, and from what I read in the forums the mods are pretty active too. Sounds like this one's gonna be a good replacement for FlyFF, for those who can't bear to play older looking games, and still want nice looking MMORPGs.

  ....and my apologies to those who just dived into the Dragon Warrior Byond game, I'll only be playing it infrequently.

  • Posted Oct 8, 2007 7:46 pm PT
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