• 8Sep 09

  So there I am...

  ...its's about 11:58pm, and I'm standing in line at GameStop waiting to get a copy of Madden10 If only my 2K5 brethren could see my shameful buckling...

  Surprisingly, I've been playing the game for the last few weeks since it released, and with a few minor hic-ups here and there that urged me to return the game... I'm still some what... enjoying Madden. Being that I have very little else to play could be a major factor in this, but I rather continue praising something I've become so accustom to bashing. This year's addition actually feels like a "new addittion" to the aging series. Besides the standard roster update (which displays some interesting team/player stats) other areas of Madden are finally shining thru. Character animations and gameplay being the biggest highlights for me. If you are familiar with 2K football games, these advancements are some what old news, but highly welcomed in the Madden universe.

  As for actually reviewing the game anytime soon... I'm not sure what's my problem! It's been awhile since I actually sat down and wrote anything about videogames. Matt Hazard, Prototype, WoW, Red Faction, Madden, Batman, and a few other gems have been keeping me nice and occupied. I just haven't really been the social type about it. Of course there is the usual life islike a box of chocolatesspiel I could toss around... but I'll be honest... recently breaking up from a 4-year relationship has kind of put me in a nasty funk.
  More or less, its been a draining experience. A new one for me, but mighty taxing nonetheless. Its been nearly 2 months now and I'm finally feeling the infection course through my system... which helps by not having any of her stuff around. Living together is something I thought would have bonded us better, and maybe it did work, but the whole moving out routine was real unpleasant. Besides not sleeping in my own bed for about a month (all hail the mighty couch of comfort) she still tends to call me every few days, which is mind-boggling, but it allows the infection to linger. And I don't like that.

  Falling in love with someone is easy, especially if you allow them into every aspect of your life. Yet, falling OUT of love with someone is something I've only heard stories about, usually associated with failed marriages. My situation has veryfew complications... no kids, no law binding contracts/documents, no shared possessions, no need for contact. At least I like to think that last one is easy to overcome
  With problems bouncing around months ago, hell, even a few years ago... its safe to say not all things were destined for church bells and white pickett fences. It hurts realizing something like that was apparent long ago, but never really addressing ituntil just recently adds a heafty amount of salt to the wound. I always asked that communication would be our strongest quality, and surprisingly it turned out being the Achiles heel between us. Which is pretty ironic in my eyes. Now that we've seperated, she wants to "talk" and be "friendly".

  What a crock of sh!t.

  Now its just me and a bunch of sour memories. And my cat Jinger... I've become THAT dude

  On a positive note, instead of going around sobbing about lost time, I've been trafficking my neighborhood as much as possible with summer coming to a close. Its been a little bite to my wallet (which is foolish of me to think I can afford) but the social scene has been a great way to air my thoughts out. It sucks seeing young couples frollic about happily gazing into eachother's eyes, but I'm getting over that silly crap. I only wish things could have went down smoother in my failed relationship... yet the welcoming glow of someone new and enticing seems like the perfect cure... until I realize thats the worst possible way to approach someone "new". I don't want a new lover anytime soon, much less someone to help me rebound. The things I've learned about myself and what I desire from a partner is nothing to scoff at. What I feel now sucks @ss, but at least the lessons I've picked up along the way will pay their dues when I share the word"love" with another.

  Oh well... summer is coming to a close, football is right around the corner, financials and career crap is neutral, and I'm finally breathing a little easier. No drama, less worries, and plenty of room for better days... I'd have to say things could be a lot worse, so I'm all-around appreciative for what I got and how I got it. Hopefully all my fellow gamers had a decent summer... I'd hate to think of the best time of the year bogging down others like my lame @ss

  • Posted Sep 8, 2009 12:36 pm PT
  • Category: Relationships
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• 27Jul 09

  Feeling the Fallout

  So I recall saying something along the lines of "online isn't as fun as it use to be..." However I worded it, such silly talk is finally starting to catch up with me.

  For the last few months I've been managing pretty well without the online hook up that most people of the modern world consider "essential" to living comfortably. The way I computed the lack of online within my personal confines was simple... I could focus more on my writing, artistic endeavors, movies, reading, even soak up the approaching summer season with little distraction.
  Sadly, there is still the nagging issue of my inability to sleep like a normal person. Maybe the internet is not the best remedy for someone who suffers from sleepless nights, but it sure did keep me at ease in the wee-hours. Even worse, not being able to scoop up any new titles without a bit of financial sacrifice seems to make this lack of online feel even more terrible!!

  No doubt, I'm tending to what needs to be done so that life continues to float along peacefully. Yet the reality that I can't simply instant message someone over XBL, or hop on counter-strike to see who's still playing at 3am
  just KILLS me!
  Another perk to having internet (as if you reading this didn't know) is that you're never short on something to read. Yes, the libraries in my general area are accessible and packed full of hidden goodies, and from time to time I can get online with my laptop at the nearest coffee shop. Problem is... I don't always want to read with clothes on and coffee shops make my clothes wreak of crap that I don't even enjoy drinking!

  Quiet the dillema.

  No worries, because the gameplan is in motion. Besides playing used copies of month-old hot'ness, I'm currently saving what little money I have for something I believe will totally cure what ills me... a bigger TV!

  Minor footnote, I'm still living in the 90's with TV's that still have huge cases and rattling bulbs inside. None of that fancy flat-screen
  business on my end... besides my tiny bedroom TV that has a built-in DVD player. Everything else in the home is pretty basic. And as much as I would love to preach on about keeping it old-school without being too retro, this is NOT by choice. I want to evolve! And something about a 40+ inch flat-screen TV before the 2009 NFL season kicks off sounds like a dose of the right stuff.

  As I said, saving money is nice and all... but when you have so little to save, much less so little to gloat about while staring at the piggy bank... the odds start to become overwhelming. At least in the dramatic sense.
  Not being able to afford new games, renting very few movies, and working too much to enjoy regular programming all point to the question... how the heck will a new TV help?! Simple answer... football in high-def

  Not the best logic, but definitely good enough for my puposes.

  I got until September to make this happen, and I estimate about 400-600 dollars will be needed to complete such a silly mission. Spending more money or getting a bigger screen is not an option. I need to budget myself, because if I get carried away, I might put myself in a bad financial spot... and that I cannot afford going into the fall/winter season in Minnesota.
  Watching the nightly news, re-watching my favorite movies, replaying old videogames, and simply basking in the glory of something new in the living room might not be the most intelligible way in dealing with a lack of online... yet the alternative is pretty reasonable: skip buying a TV altogether and reestablish internet in my home.

  I like to think there is a method to my madness

  Beyond my usual monday fantasies, summer is going well for me. I really hope all my fellow gamers are keeping cool and hydrated wherever you are in the world. Insert whichever response fits you best... water/beer, fruit/bratwurst, jogs around the lake/shaded patio gatherings.
  With so much focus on my selfish desires and tedious agendas, I am feeling a bit salty about missing out on recent family and friend ocassions. Its not like I'm giving people the finger, but I sure do feel crappy when something comes up on the spur of the moment I'm stuck grimly looking over the calendar. It sucks, but I keep on reminding myself that there is always next time... and the next time... and the next... the feeling starts to drag if you know what I mean.
  All in all, these kinds of happenings are common place with the men in my family. Grind to the bone and miss all sorts of parties... but when it comes to the holidays or PTO's... nobody can say a damn thing, even the higher up's! Common place, but suckey none the less. So like any due who suffers from a supposed mid-life crisis and buys an expensive sports car... I want a new big screen TV. Knowing me and my penny-pinching ways, the money will be saved, the options will be lined up, and moment will come... and I'll likely skip it all together.

  Something about NOT spending money unless I truly have to is addictive I'm like Scrooge McDuck without the pool of money. Sad and comical all in one fatal swoop...

  • Posted Jul 27, 2009 6:29 pm PT
  • Category: Rant
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• 12Jun 09

  Morality Gut-Check

  So, I finally saw Gran Torino, starring the legendary take-no-sh!t Clint Eastwood. I'm a little late to the party, as usual, but I must say the movie was very entertaining. Besides already hearing numerous good things about the film from critics and close friends, I was pleasantly surprised to see good ol' Mr. Dirty Harry still has his charm. For anyone who hasn't seen the urban drama by now, I'll refrain from spoiling any of the juicy bits… basically, Eastwood is a veteran of the Korean War, bitter about his experiences and overall life, he spends most of the movie spewing racial slurs and exacting justice where he deems suitable.
  
  When I first head about the main plot, it sounded appealing enough to keep me occupied for an hour or so. Then someone told me about the elderly Caucasian star ranting on and on about people of different color and such… this, as an avid movie go-er of all genres was alarming to say the least. No matter how much I enjoy terrible B-movies, its never easy to stomach films or characters who blatantly disrespect other cultures. With that, I reserved my interest in seeing the film, and most fellow fans of cinema assumed I already experienced the aging Eastwood endeavor. Truth is, I either departed from the conversation, or simply came clean with the fact that I haven't seen the movie. To anyone who is superficial enough to be concerned with such details, it would be somewhat difficult to reveal to others that yer slipping on the movie-game. For me, I was turned off by the concept of an elderly Eastwood cleaning up racially diverse neighborhoods with malice and diluted righteous.
  
  If you grew up watching the man kick @ss Bronson-$tyle against inner city street gangs, the transition to neighbor-friendly, racially charged Gran Torino could be… perplexing. Label me naïve
  
  Nearly two hours later, I find myself watching the credits and thinking, "this movie could have used a little more focus on a certain subject". Being that I personally have enough troubles as it is keeping focused on subjects while typing much less speaking, being critical wasn't difficult to overcome. As I said, I don't want to spoil the movie for others… but I really felt like Gran Torino opened up on a good note (the younger generation not respecting their elders) and teetered off into a side story that would mostly appeal to neighbors who are accustom to snooping on the world through their curtains...

  

  
  Bottom line is, a movie about an old white man pissed off about the way his neighborhood is changing doesn't win awards. Instead, you need to grab the audience and drag them along an emotionally tattered story where people connect and see positive change. Without a doubt, Gran Torino offers that. Even though I mentioned such trivial plot-drivers as mere tangents, the overall story really does deliver in a sense that you can relate as a young/old man or woman who has lived in bad neighborhoods. If you're cynical enough, some parts could be considered comical… while many others I like to think are extremely uncomfortable and unfortunately familiar. For any fans of Clint Eastwood, the Redbox (my favorite source for renting movies), or simply urban dramas, check out Gran Torino! It's definitely not a film for little kids, but if you want some insightful teenagers to have a moment of self-reflection through turbulence, give this movie a chance.
  
  As for other matters in life, I've been pretty focused on just living. Watching the NBA Finals (thank you regular cable!!), working when I can and where I can, paying my few bills, eating out WAY too much, and staying entertained with a few games/movies here and there (mostly stuff that's been on the shelf) has been tending well to my insatiable "urges".
  I don't need much to keep quiet, especially when I'm lucky enough to afford a few beers in the comforts of my little apartment. To think, there was a time when I would "demand" expensive whiskey and no substitute… and now I'm full of glee simply having clean, cold water. Oh, how a few years can show such dramatic difference in perception and appreciation. Wish I could say the same for my food habits though… something about spoiling my stomach has surely become my kryptonite. Hopefully I don't become over-weight, because then the REAL money/depression problems will blossom!

  I really enjoyed the E3 event of this year… for what I could watch. Being that my laptop (my only means for personal computing) is pretty old and beat up, conferences and interviews were limited. I could have arranged something with a friend's computer, but in all due respect, that's like asking someone to use their underwear. Not my fortay.

  On a positive, I can always read up on the gaming happenings of Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo. July is my last month of subscription with Game Informer, so I'm mighty curious what their layout will be like this year for the E3 blow out. Even with so many gamers turning to the online source as their number one way for updated info (which is logical no doubt) I'm still a sucker for magazines and papers. Never confuse me for a tree-hugger! I strongly believe toilet material is key for the human race to properly "relieve" themselves… next to functioning toilets and waste disposal.

  Quick little Brett Favre update for all my fellow football fanatics (as if you haven't heard) the nearly 40-year old QB has gone through with the shoulder surgery, and is currently on schedule with the 4-8 week recovery process. No word yet if he is officially committed to a team (especially the Vikes) or returning to the NFL at all. I know… if I were so concerned with MY TEAM being able to break their loser-mentality, I would deviate from all this silly talk about recruiting a sworn rival for a measly single season of unknown success/disaster. Truth is, the Minnesota Vikings could really use a reliable quarterback.
  I see a lot of potential in the team we have going into 2009; something about a well-respected, battle-tested veteran could be the magic glue to help it all come together. My biggest fear though… what about 2010? If you dump tons of money and effort into a guy who can barely play one season of football, what does that do to the remaining team… how do you build around that coach?!
  The excitement in reaching a Superbowl, or Heaven forbid actually winning one after all these years seems to be the dominant force behind all this Favre drama. And I'm starting to feel the contagious itch! Besides, if Brett really wanted to stay retired he would have opted out of surgery completely and left everyone in the dark… instead, he gets the shoulder surgery, which is damn near a screaming beacon that he's bound for opening season. In the coming months leading up to the NFL opener, I'm really curious how things will play out for Minnesota. We don't have much to cheer for in the sports realm (Vikings = curse, Twins = potential, Wild = effort, Timberwolves = misery, other teams = meh) so I'm really hoping whatever daring gambles our coaching staff make to keep their jobs pulls off… because if it doesn't, welcome to the world of unfair unemployment. You got a spot in line behind me coach Brad Childress… nothing personal…

  • Posted Jun 12, 2009 12:35 pm PT
  • Category: Rant
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