Happy Current Year!

• 3Feb 10

  A Few Small, Yet Highly Important, Updates (Dedicated to GS)

  I got the best of 2009 emblem and soapbox emblem and now i have too many emblems to show. actually i did before but now i have even more. its funny how these things can work sometimes.

  anyway so after lying awake in bed for 2 hours my brain decided to be a total **** last night and started writing things on its own to help relieve stresses of my life and I was to get up and write 3,000 words in 70 minutes which seems fast but isnt relly cuz I can write faster than that if I put my mind to it sometimes with a little keyboard grease. Well this has put a spoonner in the works because it will probably require 3 writing sessions (2 after the first) to complete and so you see I am meant to be doing the prestige points od Deaath for the writer ' lounge and that takees up a lot of time and is annoying so that will have to wait a few more days which means there's more work but luckily there's not much actiity at the moment so less work yay.

  I also got to level 51 whhich ive been before but kept getting moderated by the bastard mods right so i caned getting knocked back levels bt im back here now so its all good next up is another level but thts not known to me now what it is okay here's a list

  :

  1. Clandestien - Dynasty

  2. Tomahawk - A **** named hip hop

  3. Mortar - Sacred Geometry

  4. Jay-Z Reasonable dobut

  5. The Residents - Not Aviable

  6. The General

  7. Brazil

  8. A Clockwrok Oragne

  9. Fahrenheit 451

  10. Amercian spycho

  11. the hobbit

  those are are few of ny favortite thingfs

  and i did 11 instead of 10 cuz 10 is cliched.

  here's a cute asian women dont you like them?

  

  Thyre so dreamy. i dunt even care that she has no boobies, i sitll luv her.

  im looking forward to playing batman archam asylum which is sitting on this table ryyte nw but du 2 the previsouyl mentioned time requiresments it iwll have to wait.

  to make matters werse thrers a soccer match soon where i will be drinking at and wasting time stabbing ppl so thtall set me back even further rgit but luckyly i have dedication even tho Im a little introverted so i shud pull thru if im lucky

  wish me luck gaiz

  p.s.

  jOhn curire is my favoirite tennis player i luv his commenatary $tyle its so literarty, i hope therz not 2 many quotes 4 u:

  "Oh, there was some extra tobacco sauce on that backhand"

  "He is laboring and delaying the game a ltitle bit—trying to catch up with the wind."

  hez good lookin for a ranger too.

  p.p.s.

  it was funny going frm 1 of me most commented blogs to one of the least but dis 1 might be a bit ezier 4 most of u.

  much love gaiz, keep it real.

  • Posted Feb 3, 2010 7:55 pm PT
  • Category: General
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• 1Feb 10

  Australian Open 2010

  Before I get to say that I'd first like to say that the soapbox is hilarious. Got my best comment of all time "you're an idiot." My humorous blogs that piss people off have never quite got something like that before, so I'm quite pleased with myself! Coming up next will be a blog about how to get onto the soapbox (which I would mark as an editorial, but I want to stay on the soapbox long enough to post my editorial in defence of Rapelay!). Oh, and looks like the Christmas regalia pissed someone off! I did do that Muhammed avatar promised but a friend didn't like it and respectfully asked me to take it down so I did! That's quite a lesson in relations that the guy who loves the commercialisation of Christmas should take note of! Whew! Who knew acting civilly got results?

  Secondly The Bear and Walrus Pub union has opened. It's about music. Join it. There is much humorousness, supposedly.

  Oh, and new regalia! And FYI just_nonplussed I got your avatar that I animted as my profile pic so I think you can ignore size limits!

  Now I just need to win some new things at those two unions so I can change my sig!

  Speaking of winnings I also made this avatar which I'm using elsewhere:

  

  There's a slgihtly smoother version too, but it would take extra clicks to link to it, so there!

  (And yes that was a pain in the arse to make.)

  Anyway on with the important part.

  Australian Open 2010

  A Chronological Commentary Stream of Consciousness

  The players:

  Jim Courier, John Alexander, Roger Rasheed and Todd Woodbridge. Conversations between commentators will begin with the person who is speaking's name.

  "There are a lot of talented people without jobs."

  Jim Courier.

  "You can have all the talent in the world, but it's the intangibles that matter."

  Jim Courier.

  "Bernard's got a lot of Tomic—err, talent."

  John Newcombe on the ABC.

  "Six months old today and that is a nice ace."

  Jim Courier.

  "Well I guess we have to split hairs occasionally."

  Jim Courier.

  "Really flew off the racquet of Shahar Pe'er's new balls."

  Todd Woodbridge.

  "He's an interesting study for a sports psychologist. Tsongas highs and lows are extreme."

  Roger Rasheed.

  "No DNA required—that's an Australian man."

  John Alexander.

  "Andy Roddick's serving at criminal speeds."

  John Alexander.

  "Or a caffeinated one. These guys are playing some caffeinated tennis."

  Jim Courier.

  "A Perfect combination of patience and aggression…and both men breathing in a lot of oxygen…and his girlfriend is—feeling it!...

  "I—I hope that's his girlfriend, he has a sister as well, so I'm going on the record saying I'm hazarding a guess…

  "And just getting confirmation that that is his girlfriend, so phew!"

  Jim Courier.

  "Free loading bird in the guise of a fan disturbing play."

  Jim Courier.

  "And I quote: I'm not going anywhere end quote. Andrew Roddick."

  Jim Courier.

  "Lleyton's saying gotta buy one mate, gotta buy a first serve."

  Jim Courier.

  John Alexander: "Well that hurts doesn't it?'

  Jim Courier: "Mmhhmm"

  John Alexander: "You've gotta try something different but that hurts when a guy threads the needle."

  "Well safe is going to be sorry for Hewitt in this game."

  Courier.

  John Alexander: "The sexy judge on my kitchen rules…well let me clarify they say he's sexy!"

  Jim Courier: "I'll take your word for it!"

  "Going so far out of skin that that may mean embarrassment; hitting an untold amount of unforced errors."

  Courier.

  "Thinking about the greyness, you know the grey area you're talking about, and I don't see any grey here, I see it in black and white."

  Courier.

  "Crank it, can't think cover it"

  Courier

  "We know he'll do that—Hewitt's a battler. It looked like he was battling his feet on that point, was it his knee? I don't know what that was."

  Courier.

  "A donation—an unforced error, gives Federer 15-30"

  Courier.

  Henri Leconte: "Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! It was a penalty!" giggles uncontrollably.

  Umpire: "Ladies and gentleman we appreciate your enthusiasm but calling out during a point usually distracts the players."

  John Alexander: "Good announcement by the umpire, but it's hard not to get excited. Henry, you're excited."

  Henri Leconte: "Me? Never!"

  "Marin said to himself on the last point that he missed "nay!" make him play."

  Courier.

  "That grunt was different to a normal Roddick grunt, that was the grunt of a man in substantial pain laboring to hit that ball at 216k."

  Courier.

  "First set, these guys were grinding like they were a bunch of 13 or 14 year olds with these long baseline rallies."

  Courier.

  "In a match that would be more like the ok corral on another day was more like a boxing match with two boxers just jabbing at each other without daring to make the knock out blow."

  Courier.

  "There's some tingling in his fingers that should probably indicate some swelling in his shoulder that's pinching a nerve."

  Courier.

  "Barbie time, My Kitchen Rules starts right after the tennis next Monday, and I Know you're a big fan of the host Fitzie."'

  Courier.

  "Give Rafa an inch and he will just rip it from you."

  Courier.

  "When you're feeling like you just might vomit because you can't go any further remember that you might be playing this guy at some point. He's your nightmare."

  Courier.

  "I don't think there's a tremendous amount Rafa can change about his game, I think he just needs to work out how to counter the sneak attacks."

  Courier

  "He wants to keep that number 1 ranking for obvious reasons and perhaps some more subtle reasons that you might not notice at home."

  Courier

  "Davydenko is a gunslinger from the baseline particularly for a slight guy, there's a lot of pop on that ball."

  Courier.

  "And that first serve looks like he's trying to shovel the ball over the net. That's not a loose arm at all."

  Courier.

  "He's breathing like a stream train out there—trying to suck air in."

  John Alexander.

  "The amount of sweating that Čilić does is extraordinary."

  John Alexander.

  On player fatigue: "You won't see it on service speeds because players can basically stand there on their death bed and still deliver…" "…but you'll get murdered in the baseline—the game is that ballistic."

  Courier.

  "I still find it fascinating. It seems like Murray's going to win but we don't know for sure."

  John Alexander

  "This is lights out, goodnight Irene if Čilić gets broken here."

  Courier.

  "The mind is willing but I just can't see those legs carrying him around with the same virility."

  Courier.

  "Well it's quiet but there is a steely reserve beating underneath there."

  Courier.

  "She committed a form of suicide by putting the ball where she wouldn't be able to cover it in that part of the court, geometric suicide."

  John Alexander.

  Jim Courier: "Fitzie, what's the key for Tsonga today do you think?"

  John Alexander: "The key for me is how he recovers from the match—there' some keys for Roger too."

  Jihm Courier: "Watch the racquet head whip—whoosh!"

  "What do you mean I'm underestimating him? I'm not underestimating Joe, I feel like you're accusing me of something!"

  Courier.

  "Serena says she peaked when she played Sam Stosur and I'm sure everyone who watched it would agree."

  John Alexander.

  "I've often wondered, where did Desperate Housewives go?... It [Cougar Town] deals with some serious issues too, you know, that are very prevalent today. Divorces, re-partnering, re-partnering, re-partnering; maintaining a relationship with your children under difficult circumstances."

  Alexander.

  Todd Woodbridge: "And we must say maybe he could put some sleaves on."…

  John Alexander: "Nothing wrong with a good paddock!"

  On Leander Paes.

  "Wolf Blass trivia time which is something Tracey enjoyed but she's headed back to Cougar Town."

  Alexander.

  "Todd, you answered that trivia question so quickly we've had a few calls asking us what happened in the final episode of Lost." …. "And don't tell us who won My Kitchen Rules!~"

  John Alexander.

  "Quite tall Jaroslav Levinsky and with a sizeable wing span,"

  Woodbridge.

  Todd Woodbridge: "I am going to be perched up in my chair enjoying every moment of it [My Kitchen Rules]."…

  John Alexander: "And saying to your wife I know who won it but I'm not going to tell you!"

  "Well this could spark him, and he verbalized again."

  John Alexander on Murray.

  "Well if you can read body language, yep, there's a slight change happening as we speak"

  Alexander.

  There's no way he's going to beat him if the trend continues—he needs to open his shoulders

  Alexander.

  "Well well well! Mister momentum changes his address."

  Jim Courier.

  "Exactly, to win this match he needs to gobble up those opportunities, make him pay."

  Courier.

  "That's what Federer does to you—makes you drag that toe."

  Courier.

  "That looked like the shot of a man with Great Britain on his back."

  Courier.

  "Murray choosing forehand on this shot and doesn't get through it—short arms it"

  Courier..

  "They'll l switch sides—nine all—oh the energy in the building right now!"

  Courier.

  "Oh my goodness that is just abusive!"

  Courier.

  • Posted Feb 1, 2010 12:25 am PT
  • Category: Sports
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• 15Jan 10

  Kiddie Games Make Gamers Act Like Kids

  Kiddie games, these days there are those that hate them and those that will also point out that supposedly mature games are not very mature in nature, taking adult themes and presenting them in a very primitive way as if this is some sort of great crime against the gaming industry. But growing up I know the sort of games I played. When Soldier of Fortune came out I was ten years old. It was one of the best games I'd played up until that point. It was violent, and most importantly, it was over the top. Children like things that are over the top (I did anyway) how many of your favourite cartoons or shows that you liked as a child have you gone back and thought was incredibly corny or hammy, or any other sort of food variety that people apply to artistic endeavour?

  I mean, I still enjoy them. Anyway I'm rambling a bit here. This blog isn't really about how games aren't really damaging to kids (I mean I think we can all agree I turned out pretty badly) it's that all of a sudden we're acting as if children don't play Modern Warfare 2. Well we're acting like that when discussing that its airport level was removed from the Russian version of the game, while at the very same time on another forum in another topic we're complaining about all the obnoxious 13 year old kids going around shouting the f and n words through their headsets when we play.

  And while we try and smile proudly over the fact that most games are young adult males, we are somewhat ignoring our own gaming roots. One thing I've observed about gamers (with absolutely no statistics to back this up) is that their tastes usually don't change a whole lot. Most hardcore FPSer fans I know have always loved FPSers—and that means maybe playing Turok on the N64 when they were ten, or Quake when they were six.

  Developers and publishers aren't idiots (mostly anyway). They know that there'll be kids playing Modern Warfare—it's a huge market that they can tap into—and they know that they need to appeal to them. The airport scene just adds to the appeal to children. It's something they shouldn't be playing—something that might disturb them—might turn them into some homicidal maniac. What on earth could be cooler? I mean crack sounds fun, but It's $250 an ounce, and Modern Warfare 2 is $60—err, $90 on Steam. Still a better deal, and besides crack did weird things to Auntie Jeanine. What kid in their right mind wouldn't want to play it?

  Yet what films do kids loves? Err, apart from Twilight, High School Musical and Toy Story, that is. I know I personally liked Die Hard and The Rock and no one batted an eyelid when I watched them, but no, my favourite was Akira. I saw a scene or two of it at a video store—people were mutating, lasers were cutting peoples arms of. It was, in a word, FREAKING-AWESOME! No one cared when I saw it in full, yet I remember (despite being a few years older) the store clerk giving my mother a few disapproving looks and words of warning when she was with me and I bought Soldier of Fortune.

  This guy was a gamer (this was in the days before EB Games was populated by blond surfer chicks to keep the guys entertained, and the footie mums happy) and he was looking at me disapprovingly. This was after Columbine. Us gamers had already been put through a lot of hateful accusations by the mainstream media, and here was a gamer himself doing this to me and my mother! Well thanks a lot jerk, I hope your store goes out of business. Which it did. Thank you GameStop! Actually, maybe it was because of Columbine that he looked at me suspiciously. I could've had a gun concealed in my nappy.

  So why on earth is this? Why do gamers ourselves who have to put up with a lot of crap from people who cannot tell the difference between killing someone in game and killing them in real life, do this to our own people? Do we do it all just to look good to the media? "While video games don't have negative effects, we still wouldn't dream of giving our children violent video games!" Are we really going to step down into the tepid depths of hypocrisy to gain acceptance. I say we let Nintendo do the work for us. They're doing a great job so far. Gamers should stick together. (Except for Wii fans, they should be excluded).

  Why waste our time and energy trying to claim that going on a rampage is anything but a deliciously immature thing to do? Why waste our time and energy pandering to the media saying that these games are clearly designed and marketed to adults?

  Let the disapproval and peer pressure be stuck in System Wars, not in telling parents what to do with their children—children who they're denying a wonderful childhood experience that they themselves probably had. Even if the pixels of blood were a little bigger. Leave the unrelenting parental 'advice' and moralizing where it belongs: in the media and at the hands of all fear mongerers. I just want to blow some bastards up, and I have ever since I became a gamer.*

  Maybe I'm wrong, though, and putting too much store in the comments on the internet (like this one, so feel free to get moralizing!). Feel free to tell me if I am!

  
  *In game that is of course!

  • Posted Jan 15, 2010 9:38 pm PT
  • Category: Editorial
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