• 14Aug 08

  Sweet Spot

  I just saw the new GameSpot and I must agree with everyone else that it looks great. Thanks to all of the devs and beta-ers that put in a lot of time and effort into this. I don't have too much to say except that Spanky Tugnutt is the funniest made-up name ever. Oh, and check out the list below. I think it's pretty funny, but I think in the change-over it might have gotten lost. If you did read it and thought it was stupid and unfunny, then have some backbone and tell me. Criticism is always welcome, both contructive and destructive. Especially destructive.

  Later

  • Posted Aug 14, 2008 11:53 am PT
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• 12Aug 08

  The most D-Baggiest articles of clothing

  For all of you that noticed, I deleted my last blog post. And the reason for that was due to the overwhelming response (read: it was depressing and nobody cared). So, I guess that is the first and last personal post that I will be doing, at least for the near future. Now back to the funny!

  I don't know if you are allowed to use the extended version of D-Bag, so I will just keep it as is.

  1. Polo shirts with the collar up.

  I will not use the term "popped collar" because popping your collar is a hip-hop term that does not mean turning your collar up. It is a move that people do that is similar to "brushing your shoulders off" and the fact that it had been changed because stupid white college kids don't know what it meant in the rap song they heard it in just makes them belong on this list that much more. (If you don't believe me, check the urban dictionary)

  2. Grillz

  Nothing says "I care about myself more than I do my kids" like a grown man with a grill.

  Barbeque grill = awesome and delicious

  Mouth grill = expensive dentures

  3. Wristbands as a fasion statement

  I know that you can really work up a sweat by wearing really tight jeans, and doing all sorts of hipster things, but leave the wristbands to the jocks that picked on you in high school.

  4. Chains - both guido and gangster

  Guido- You do realize that you are a haircut and fake tan away from being one of the Gotti kids? If you are cool with that, then you most likely don't hang out with me.

  Gangster- There is a reason that Mr. T is now a caricature of himself who hocks knock-off George Foreman grills, and it's not because he played a boxer in a movie (even though Clubber Lang was the bomb).

  4. Mock Turtlenecks

  Guilty as charged on this one. They are like the wine-coolers of clothing. I will give anyone $5 if they can show me a picture of a guy looking cool while wearing one of these, or while drinking a wine cooler. And I'll give you $20 if the person is doing both. George Clooney doesn't count because he can look cool doing anything, and yes I have a giant man-crush on the guy.

  5. Trucker Hats

  OK, Ashton. Your fifteen minutes are up, you can have your hat back, we don't need it anymore.

  6. Shorts that are too long to be shorts, but too short to be pants

  If that is the best way to describe them, then they have to go. The only single word to describe them are "capri" pants and they are made for girls. I don't care how baggy they are.

  7. Men who wear rings on their fingers

  Unless you're married, a pimp or a mob boss then you just look like you really like pretty things on your fingers.

  8. Women who wear rings on their fingers

  Why do you like pretty things on your fingers? They're just cumbersome, and hurt when you slap me.

  9. iPhone

  Technically this is not an article of clothing, but you would'nt be able to tell by looking at someone who owns one. It does not say "I'm up on all the current technology." It says, "I paid way too much for a phone with crappy internet that plays music."

  10. UGGZ during the summer

  Ladies, they make you look like an eskimo that got lost on the way back to the igloo. Also, if you are wearing those big boots in the summer, I have to assume that your feet are getting sweatier and smellier by the second, and that's pretty hot. Get it? HOT?

  Well, that's enough shennannigans and Tom-foolery for now. If I missed anything, or you disagree with anything on here, leave me a comment.

  • Posted Aug 12, 2008 10:30 am PT
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• 30Jul 08

  Grand Theft Patience

  No funny business here. I just got my 360 back after a long battle with the RRoD and I have finally had an opportunity to take on GTA IV. First of all, it is beautiful, but most of you already know that. I am really starting to feel for Niko's plight and I am having a a genuinely great time playing the game, except for one thing. For a game that is based on driving, why is the driving so completely broken? Has anyone else noticed that it is impossible to make a 90 degree turn at faster than 10mph? If you brake going into a turn, you will only turn about 12 degrees, and if you handbrake you automatically spin all the way around. It is so impossibly infuriating that it is on it's way of ruining the game for me. If I'm just doing it wrong, or there is a special 90 degree turn button that I am just not aware of, then please let me know.

  • Posted Jul 30, 2008 7:03 am PT
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