Thoughts of a man who's probably not quite right in the head.

• 25Aug 09

  Batman restors my faith. HALLELUJAH!

  Decent games based off of movies, tv shows, or comics are rare and precious, like some sort of exotic flower. (insert rare and precious flower example here). That's because most of them are complete and utter crap. So it is with great excitement that I tell you that Batman, Arkham Asylum restores my faith in video games, in writers, in God! THANK YOU JESUS! This game is amazing. AMAZING. I love it, and i'm not even finished with it yet. There are so many disappointing movie games and game movies (as i've already gone into on previous rants and reviews) it is so refreshing to see not just a decent game, but a legitamately awesome game come out with a charachter that we all know and love and hasn't been horribly exploited for profit.

  • Posted Aug 25, 2009 8:18 pm PT
  • Category: Games
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• 18Mar 09

  The end game (wtf happened to it?)

  I know I haven't written in a while (playing too many video games) but something has caught my attention lately that I feel I must adress. What happened to the end game boss battle??? Halo 3, Fallout 3, Fable II... Great games, don't get me wrong. No end of game boss battle. What the hell did you work so hard for? Resident Evil 4, Metroid Prime. These had great boss battles. Epic even. Mario? Zelda? What would those games be without facing off against Bowser or Gannon? That's the whole point of the game. That's what you did all that crap for in the first place, to kick some butt! And now game producers make these wonderful deep involving fun games and then at the end... what they run out of ideas??? Was that a phone it in day at work? What did i just blow my way through waves of enemies for? to kill some dude in one shot? Heck, in Fallout 3 you can talk your way out of the last boss battle completely! Are you kidding me!?!! I just got put through hell, and someone deserves a face full of shotgun as repayment. (or assault rifle, fire ball, mace, pick your favorite). I didn't blow through your minions, conquer the galaxy, and save the countryside to be just handed a half hearted ending and a pat on the back. Hey, thanks for all your hard work in tearing down everything around you ruled by some dude who can be onshotted by a 5 year old.

  People, stand up and demand your right to finish your game the way you started it! Like the badass you are! Or at very least let me string up the end guy and beat him like a pinata for putting me through all that. That might be cool.

  • Posted Mar 18, 2009 1:25 pm PT
  • Category: Games
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• 6Sep 07

  Video game movies

  I just saw a comercial for a DOA movie DVD. I didn't even know they made a DOA movie. From the comericial, I can guess that it's scantily clad hot women hurting people. Well, at least they got the premise of the games down. I can also guess that it sucked hard core. It sucked more than a vaccume. It sucked more... well, you can fill in your own dirty puns here. It just sucked. Did I ever see the movie? No. I barely knew it existed before 5 minutes ago, but I can safely assume it sucked. Why can I do this? 90% of all movies based on video games suck, and that's probably being generous. Just as 90% of all video games based on movies suck. Why is this? I mean, if you have an awesome movie, and an awesome video game, why can't they switch places and still be awesome?

  The answer to this is quite simple. Exploitation. Someone likes a video game, so they'll make a poorly made movie with a low budget and poor writing to rope in the fans of the game to make a cheep buck. Same goes for video games based on movies. No one cares for the fans of these games and movies. They're out to make money. The really sad part is that I am sure you could make a wonderful movie based on a video game. I'm pretty sure it can be done. For example, I enjoyed the movie DOOM (even though they murdered the plot of the game, along with most of the cast). Resident Evil wasn't half bad, though again the plot went out the window. (Though on further inspection, stupid irritating puzzles don't translate well to movie format. It was a good thing to drop.)

  If someone who actually cared about these games were to put the effort forth to make a decent movie, i'm sure it would make million of dollars. Until that day, I suppose i'll be seeing more trailers of movies based on a game as a cheep premise for women to shoot things in a skimpy bra. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just I'm not paying 7 bucks to see it. Especially if I can get a better storyline on my PC or console.

  • Posted Sep 6, 2007 10:30 pm PT
  • Category: Movies
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