In a world overrun by corporate greed and rising oil prices, one man chooses to defy the will of a nation. Greed. Power. Hope. Love. And a little bit of ketchup. This is the blog of Seth Golovin.

• 20Aug 08

  On Vacation, see you all Monday!

  So for those of you who don't know, I'll be leaving tomorrow afternoon to go a couple places. My family and I will pile into our Montana and drive my brother over to Cornell where he is attending school. After that we will make the drive to Toronto to spend a day with my grandparents and assorted other family members who live in that area. On Saturday I will get the honor so many of us dream of, yes I will get to meet Kellymae in person! If you are reading this and for some reason you are not a friend of Kelly's I suggest you click on that link and get cracking. We'll be discussing some really cool stuff and eating some Japanese food so everyone be jealous. On Sunday we will make the long trip home and I should be back online either Sunday night or Monday afternoon. (I would say morning but I don't expect to be awake before noon)

  So I will check this page a couple more times tonight and again before I leave tomorrow. After that I will talk to you all on Monday.

  By the way, how is it that Firefox can make links and add pictures while Safari can barely get words up on this site? Just because I can I think I am going to add a picture to this blog.

  That is the Toronto skyline. The big pointy spire is the CN Tower. Unlike most tall buildings there are no offices in the CN tower, it is purely a tourist attraction. At least that is my understanding. Maybe Kelly can tell you more.

  And with that folks, farewell!

  • Posted Aug 20, 2008 5:43 pm PT
  • 6 Comments
  • Comment
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg
• 19Aug 08

  The Worst Game I Have Ever Played

  Kelly has asked me if I would write a blog about the worst game I have ever played. Upon careful consideration, and after looking through my collection, one game stood out to me as being so utterly horrible that it transcended all of my previously conceived notions of how bad a game could truly be. The game I speak of is Enclave.

  The first thing I noticed about Enclave upon picking it up earlier this year was the developer, Starbreeze. For the uninitiated this is the studio that brought us the superb Xbox shooter, The Chronicles of Riddick and the better than average Xbox 360 comic adaptation, The Darkness. Unlike those games though, Enclave isn't a first person shooter but an action RPG.

  Just for Kelly, I decided to pop this sucker into my Xbox for a quick refresher. Things didn't start out too well for Enclave. Upon booting up my Xbox I was treated to a loading screen. We're not talking a post logos loading screen, but the actual first thing you see when the game starts is the word, "loading" over a black screen. Surely they could have put forth some sort of background image. And what exactly needs to be loaded at this point? Seriously, it takes a coder with about as much skill as a dead elephant to make this kind of error. After about 30 seconds (no joke) the logo screens start. After several long drawn out company shout outs the title screen appears.

  Now let me take a moment to describe for you the story of Enclave. After starting a new game you must choose to play either a good or evil campaign. Ok, nice, two campaigns. This is a good thing. I decided to try out the light campaign. After another overly long loading screen, I was greeted by a cutscene outlining a story which you have seen more times than Wal-Mart price drops, although this unfortunate retelling doesn't yield fifty cent Milky Way bars. In fact you'll lose interest around the time the unsurprisingly lifeless narrator starts talking about a great demon lord trying to take over the world. Luckily a single great warrior defeated him in a last desperate blow, tearing the world asunder. Fast forward a couple millennium and you find the world split into good and evil factions. You, of course, are caught in the crossfire when you defend a friend against tax collectors. The actual gameplay opens in a jail cell. I know, I'm falling asleep writing it too. So of course the jail is attacked by the forces of evil, and in the process you are freed and enlisted to fight alongside your captors.

  I'm no opponent of classic good versus evil storylines, but these guys didn't even try. Any purveyor of fantasy literature could have created a more unique and fascinating story. And you have to see the cutscene to believe what I am about to tell you. The glorious opener takes the form of the turning pages of a book. So not only did the writers have not the slightest inkling of originality, they also told the story without any actual action occurring. Someone forgot about the show not tell rule somewhere along the way.

  Now the above complaints could relate to any of dozens of games, but none of them followed their lousy setup with gameplay quite this terrible. Within the first seconds of playing you'll notice the camera. It is completely manual. By this I mean it wont even change direction when you walk up a twisting staircase. I can safely say that if you were to never move the camera during a level it would end at the exact same angle that it started in. So you have to baby-sit the camera. Not too uncommon in mediocre games. But this camera is different. You see for some reason Starbreeze thought it would be a good idea if the camera could move in a complete circle around your character in any direction. Why they didn't lock the camera to a single Y plane, or at least around the same level as your character, is beyond me, but play this game and you will be twisting your right analog stick in more directions than a star Geometry Wars veteran.

  So after you come to grips with the camera you have to start worrying about the controls. You see jumping in this game is relegated to pushing down the right analog stick. Now this is ok in games where jumping isn't all that important, but when your character gets stuck on level geometry as much as in Enclave it is important to be able to jump over mouse sized rocks that are impeding your progress. Of course putting the use function on the left trigger is awkward, as is the clunky combat which sees you pummeling the right trigger until everything around you is dead.

  So between trying to maneuver the camera, fighting, jumping, and switching between different items, you'll need about five hands. If you are like me, and most likely you are, you are just a couple hands short of that number. As a result you will spend 90% of the game fighting with the controls, leaving you vulnerable to enemy attacks.

  Not that the enemies really do all that much to be honest. By and large they seem to be programmed to do nothing. Or maybe they weren't programmed at all. Either way, other than some scripted moments the AI is happy to sit there and let you kill it without putting up an iota of a fight. That doesn't mean beating the game is easy. In fact beating it is one of the hardest and most frustrating feats in gaming for several reasons. The main one is that there are no mid mission saves in Enclave. Wonder how long missions are? Well I can't speak from experience because I never got past the third level, but sources say that the longest level in the game well exceeds two hours. So when you die to that final boss at the end of a trying and aggravating mission (and you will die to him) it's time to start from scratch.

  Missions might be shorter if there was some form of guidance, but from my experience there really isn't. There's nothing telling you which way to go, what button to press, or really supply you with any objective once you are past the initial start screen. So as you walk around the admittedly nicely rendered environments, desperately fighting with a horrendous camera, hopelessly lost, utterly bored and completely frustrated, you might come to the conclusion, as I did, that this game isn't worth it.

  This realization finally sunk in for me around mission three in which you must escort a merchant around a town. Yes, in addition to all its other failings Enclave features an escort mission. What might surprise you is that it was relatively easy until what I assume was the final encounter. After around half an hour worth of monster slaying I made it to my objective with the merchant still alive. Suddenly out popped this beast that slaughtered me almost instantly. So for all my trouble I got nothing and had to start the mission from scratch. It just isn't fair and isn't fun. Another problem about this mission, and I assume many later ones: there isn't a map that I have found so far. So in these massive, empty, repetitive environments I found myself going in circles until I found where I was supposed to go. In mission three I went through the whole level only to learn I had to first enter a building to retrieve a book. Once I did that I was able to continue, until I died that is. Then I finally gave up and vowed to never play this game again.

  There are so many more reasons Enclave is a terrible game. One of my favorite (Read: despised) design choices is what the game does when the camera is forced up against a wall. Now in most games when part of the environment would obstruct the camera the game would make those obstacles invisible. Well in Enclave they thought it would be a great idea to make the player invisible in these situations. That way you can focus on the mundane brick wall as your enemy slashes you to shreds. Who wants to see the player when so much effort was spent on the wall textures? This was a great idea, right?

  Now technically Enclave isn't half bad. But artistically it is similar to 40's housing styles. You know, those are the ones that looked like squares filled with squares? The ones that looked just like one another without even the tiniest bit of personality. In the 40's though, when people were just coming out of the great depression, having a cheap house that at least functioned well was a dream come true. I wonder if after coming out of our current recession people will be so happy to be able to afford games they will accept trash like Enclave?

  There are even more issues in the game but I think everyone gets the point by now. The flaws here are so numerous that the game feels almost broken. At every turn a poor design choice flaunts it's stuff to a player who has just recovered from the last game breaking bug. Many games fail because they try to do too much, or because they can't quite polish off an innovative feature. Neither are true for Enclave. The game does nothing new and nothing much and somehow still messes it all up. What a disaster.

  • Posted Aug 19, 2008 2:21 pm PT
  • 8 Comments
  • Comment
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg
• 15Aug 08

  Women's All Around

  So most of you know I'm not much into sports but my sister has been a gymnast since she was old enough to walk and competes around the midwest. She's a level 7 for those who know what that means. She is probably moving up to level 8 this upcoming season. For those of you who don't know women's gymnastics is split into levels, numbering 1-10, 1 the worst, 10 the best. Most gymnasts never make it past level 4 or 5 and only a select few make it to level's 8-10. After level 10 women move up to the elite level from which the national champion is chosen. The highest rated gymnasts at this level are then selected to represent the USA on the international scene and in the olympics.

  With several gymnasts on Team USA from Indiana (Where I live) it has really been a really stressful week for the state's top gymnasts. Those of you who watched NBC's coverage this week may have laughed at Bella Carolie (I didn't spell that right), a person who my sister has met and calls, "Incredibly nice." We recently broke the world record here in Indianapolis when hundreds of Indiana gymnasts all didsimultaneoushandstands at the state fare. My point is that this state has a great heritage in the sport and my sister has been a proud part of it for the half decade we've lived here.

  While much of America cheered on Michael Phelps our city mourned when Chelsie Himmel injured her ankle the day before the Olympics started. Because of that injury we were forced to play a second rate gymnast in the team finals on beam, who essentially destroyed the hopes for an American win. Yesterday the girls competed in the Women's All Around, which is basically a meet in which the women compete on all of the events present on the woman's scene. The scores achieved on these events are then added together to get the final score and determine the Olympic champion.

  Because my sister started her Freshman year of highschool this week she was unable to watch the Women's All Around live so I watched it and taped it for her. I'm not an expert on Gymnastics by any means. But I know from attending countless meets what is essentially a good and bad routine on any event. The FIG redesigned the scoring system for this Olympics after the very public humiliation they faced in 2004. Honestly I can't say I like it. But one thing should be better. With the starting score fixed before the event the judges should theoretically be giving a great number of perfect or close to perfect scores. This is because girls doing easy routines (low start value) should be able to nail their execution (deducted from 10). Now I've been watching women's gymnastics for half my life and I know a perfect vault when I see one. I'm no judge, and I'm no expert but I had to refrain from screaming when Nastia vaulted last night. Such a peerless vault. Having watched countless botched vaults all week long (Don't get me started on the men), Nastia did the perfect vault. Not a single flaw at all. My sister, when she saw it after school today, literally fell out of her chair and gaped for a good ten seconds. Her initial response was similar to everyone in China, "Perfect." Then comes the devastating score. 9.425.

  I know that out of ten this seems like an excellent score but vault is the highest scoring event in gymnastics. Because there is only a single move done in every vault most people either get a really high score (They did the move correctly) or a very low score (They did it incorrectly). Deductions are added for the landing, the hardest part of any event. Essentially a landing is how the gymnast lands on her dismount. The goal is to land chest up, legs straight and not step. At the olympics not a single girl had stuck her vault, meaning no one had managed to not take a step. Then Nas did it. She landed the best vault of her career better than anyone else ever has. A vault like this should have received a 9.8-10.0. Again this is because the start value is now a separate score. So for those of you old enough to remember the only perfect 10 in Olympic history, she would today have a total score of twenty. So with Nas's start value of 5.5 her score should have been 15.5. Those of you who have watched so far know that this is a sport where someone can win by .001, so the difference between a 15.5 and a 14.95 could be the difference between a gold medal and last place, especially in women's gym where there are only four events.

  What was especially shocking to me was that the Chinese competitor who didn't even complete her vault, meaning she didn't perform the move she was supposed to got nearly THE SAME SCORE. To put it in perspective, a fair judge would have normally scored a vault like that maybe a 5/10. She got an 8/10. Again when the standings are determined by a hundredth or less of a point three whole points are usually double the difference between first and last place, especially in this new format.

  So after that was bars. Lets say we deserved better than what we got. We weren't perfect by any means, and my sister tore apart Shawn Johnson's routine, but we were no worse than the Chinese who scored siginficantlly higher. Plus Shawn stuck the hardest dismount in history. Now my sister's obviously much better at scoring a routine than I am so I'll agree that Shawn was cheated out of only a couple tenths of a point. But, I say again, a tenth of a point was in this event larger than the distance between second and third place.

  Then the event that usually defines the scores in Women's All Around tournaments, the beam. I would compare the scoring of this event last night to what would happen if the judges randomly pulled scores from a hat. So badly was this event judged that we nearly lost a meet which shouldn't have been close from the very first event. The first Chinese girl up was horrendous. She scored a 14.5 or so. Not so good you say? Well it's actually very good. With her start value that means she was scored above a 9.0. Her exact score 9.025 was identical to Shawn's. I think I nearly cried. They were cheating us out of our medals at that point. First Nas loses enough points to cost her medal contention and then the same happens to Shawn. Then the second Chinese girl was up. She was good. Probably nearly as good as Shawn, but somehow she scored higher. Also scoring below expectations was the Russian gymnast who in my opinion should have been in second place but ended out of the top five. Then Nas went in what can only be called the beam routine of a lifetime. Again, the best routine seen all week and easily one of the best executed beam routines of all time. With her staggering start value of a 6.7 she should have scored a 16.5 or so. But again she was cheated, scoring only a 16.125. Again in any other sport such a small fraction wouldn't matter but in gymnastics, and in this meet, that tiny fraction of a point put her in second place and Shawn in fourth.

  Then came floor. I think my heart was beating at about 10,000 beats per second here. This is Nas's weakest event. Shawn is great here, but in the Team Finals she stepped out. This is the second worst thing that can happen to a gymnast on floor right after falling. Landing a move out of bounds is a full half a point deduction or well above enough to put both our girls out of medal contention and Shawn out of the top ten. I was seriously nearly crying by that point. It just happened that the final four girls to compete would be the Fourth place Russian, the first place Chinese then Nas then Shawn. The Russian gave the floor routine of her life. Flawless from start to finish. My sister claimed she lost points because she lacked artistic sensibilities in her routine which, according to my sister, is highly important to judges on floor. Still her score of 14.75 lost her the match. Then came Yinlin of China. She was good, even great, but no better than the Russian yet she scored a 15.00 putting her in first place. Then Nas. Remember with her start value of around 16.00, a single landing out of bounds would bring her down to a 15.5. A single fall would bring her to either a 15.2 if she didn't lose start value points or as much as 1.5, putting her out of the top five. But she hit every move like a dream. She gave a floor routine that the NBC announcer claimed, "We will watch for generations." She scored a 15.45 putting her in first place. So it all turned out ok for her. Even after losing over a point from bad judging she was either in first or second place.

  Then Shawn. Because of her unfairly judged beam and bars routines she needed a 16.125 to win gold. Now because her start value is only about a 6.125 she basically needed a perfect score to get first place. She gave it a go. She did the best floor routine of her life, the best of the night scoring a 15.525 putting her into second place. So it all turned out ok for the Americans. We beat a Chinese delegation that uses girls half the age of the required minimum and we triumphed over judges so biased against us it was obvious to someone who had never seen a gymnastics meet in their lives. Shawn took the silver by .075. The Russians though, who were in my opinion better than Shawn overall were beaten by a team of judges who were either blind, ignorant or on Chinese payroll. Need more proof of a rigged Olympics? Male All Around was shall we say more fairly judged but still, the Chinese man won by over three points. Remember that the difference between first and last is usually less than two points but the difference between the Chinese gold medalist and the silver medalist was three points. I can't explain to someone who doesn't know anything about gymnastics how massive of a number this is even for men's. It would require the second place gymnast to fall on three of the six events and to stick less than half of their landings. Now the second place gymnast fell on two of their six events, but not three. It was a joke of an olympics in gymnastics. Once the ultimate goal of an aspiring gymnast, after this year I feel the olympics will mean far less.

  When the week started I was happy for the Chinese people. But there's nothing like cheating and bribing to sour someone's reputation. Tomorrow starts the individual event championships. If things go our way we should go four for four in woman's and come in third in maybe half of the men's events. But honestly if the judges tear us apart like they have been we may lose it all. Honestly who cares about winning when the competition is rigging the game.

  • Posted Aug 15, 2008 10:08 pm PT
  • 6 Comments
  • Comment
  • Tag
  • Print
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Digg

See Previous Blog Posts