Welcome to my blog of a bunch of random topics I feel like talking about. Sit back, relax, and hopefully enjoy the read.

• 14May 13

  Right?

  
  
  Dude is worse than Hitler and Kirsten Dunst combined.

  • Posted May 14, 2013 11:45 pm GMT
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• 13May 13

  True Justice Has Been Served

  http://www.gamespot.com/users/drinkerofjuice/show_blog_entry.php?topic_id=m-100-26022678#livefyre

  That's right mooksi.
  
  Because the world should know about the greatness that is Big Bo

  • Posted May 13, 2013 2:51 am GMT
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• 8May 13

  Those are big ass jugs, so I linked it instead of posting the pic.

  
  
  Right? f*cking women never appreciate the amazing stuff inlife. Bunch of trifling ass hoes. Yeah I'm in a bloging mood lately, sue me. Your Beacon of Truth is here as always to deliver upon you nothing more than the truth.
  
  

  ---

  
  
  BOOTY SHORT SEASON
  
  
  
  F*ck Winter it's always about getting that summer time feeling, and why is the summer fantastic? Besides the beautiful weather and shit it's booty short season, dress season, skirt season, and I go party hard season. Tax season is over so I work less at the firm now, work calms down, and post mothers day I don't need to worry about too many major weekends at the Cheesecake factory that much either.
  
  I turn a young 25 in a few weeks, and then it's on to a whole lot of nights out, because f*ck it. And remember it's not that I'm an alcoholic. It's that you're boring and don't go out enough. Get a life please.

  ---

   

  
  
  F*CKING DARK SOULS
  
  
  
  I was having a great today. Both jobs went smoothly. Got out of the firm really quick today so I had time to grab some lunch and stuff,and got some pizza. F*cking delicious I might add( New York, our pizzas better than yours, get mad). Got out of my other job fairly quickly today, made it home with hours to spare before the broads shift. Got my dick wet. (Sex for the uneducated). That's a great day by Champ standards. Easy work, my stomach was satisfied, my dick was satisfied. I mean really I should have just went to bed I could only ruin this day not make it better. Nope I started playing more Dark Souls, because f*ck it I just made it to Anor Londo.
  
  MAde it to the stupid archers, and their f*cking bullshit. I was having a great day and you f*cking ruined it. I thought we were friends. Some of you are all hur durr that part isn't hard, or blah blah blah or hur durr it only takes some time. I had 15 humanity earned from helping other douches beat boss fights. You know what happened to my 15 humanity? GONE!!!! That's why day was ruined.
  
  Liz's reaction to my real life problem?
  
  "You are such a child".
  
  Doesn't swallow, votes against potential 3ways, isn't there in my time of need, wants me to wife her? such c*ntery.

  ---

  
  
  THAT SLUT STILL GOT IT
  
  
  
  Bet you perverts read the title and assumed I meant the mrs. How dare you. I would never speak of her in such a negative manner. Anyway I can't bring myself to actually play Luigi's Mansion 2 right now because lolhandhelds and all that jazz. And Ninja Gaiden 2 mentor I needed a break from so it was Bayonetta time.
  
  When the game came out in 2010 I was all about how good that game was. It was f*cking fun beyond words. How much did I like it? I made sure to share my displeasure with GUFU if they didn't try it: http://www.gamespot.com/unions/GSUFU/forums/27150030/the-if-you-didnt-buy-bayonetta-youre-fing-lame-thread
  
  You can link that yourself because gamespots hyperlink is against working correctly. Anyway 6 playthroughs later it was easily my favorite for Game of the Year in 2010. And in retrospect I'd probably would still want to show it more love than Super Mario Galaxy 2 or Super Meat Boy(both f*cking amazing games from that year). Of course back then I didn't actually finish Ninja Gaiden 2, and I have now. So how does it stack up.
  
  Well Bayonetta was DMC territory since day one so by default I like NG2s combat styIe and feel more. In general NG is more visceral and violent, and just far more satisfying in a brutal way. It's meant to challenge you in a way Bayonetta and DMC never do. Those games have more punching bag like enemies as oppose to NG where everything can literally kill you.
  
  With all that said Bayonetta is the best of the bunch in terms of dial a combo/combo string games for my money. DMC3 has some awesome stuff, but it lacks the raw speed, slick feeling, and all the cancels one gets in Bayonetta. The weapon variety for the most part is solid enough, and putting together some of the crazier strings once you learn how to dodge offset is pure gaming bliss. Bayonetta to me is one of those games that actually delivers on something a lot of game developers try to reach for: easy to pick up and difficult to master. You can beat Bayonetta on normal by being a passive player, but to actually conquer the game. Get the platinum trophies, unlock all its secrets, put up high combo scores, and beat the higher difficulty modes? That's all about learning the ins and outs of the combat system.
  
  And while it doesn't have the more open levels of NG, and does that annoying "we blocked off this section so now you can fight things" thing that DMC and God of War and Metal Gear Rising do the actual level design in the game is pretty f*cking incredible in spots. Where DmC only know how to look visually crazy Bayonetta was able to look crazy, let you interact or play around in it in a more meaningful manner, and all the while provide a sense of scale/intensity that DmC never really could match up with.
  
  And the best highlight of the game? The F*cking boss fights. Man f*ck anyone that likes CHronus from God of War 3. He is a glorified moving level that you do not actually fight, but one you walk on to fight standard dudes, and do a QTE that does damage to Chronus. Bayonetta has large creatures you engage in battle with, climb on, and actually conquer. God of War's x factor for satisfaction in boss fights was brand names: Zeus, Poseidon, Hades. You know names it could use to sell the idea that it was "epic". Bayonetta's x-factor was the actual boss fights themselves. The pattern based ones were aggressive plenty, lengthy, and f*cking large. Also Jubileus? Pretty f*cking awesome, and for good measure you have fights with Jeanne whose fights are more about pure speed and reflexes. Any one of the boss fights in Bayonetta would be worthy of a final boss in a big triple A game this gen, and it had a lot of them as warm up.
  
  Now of course the game isn't without its faults. The camera can lose you at times, the survive a big jump QTEs are universally lame, and I'm not a big fan of those sega homages in the game to space harrier or whatever that motorcycle game is suppose to be. Also I would have liked some more melee centric weapons that could be alternatives to the sword, because a lot of the extra weapons were more specialized than something I could use as a main stay. That's me at least.
  
  Some people also think too little of the story, and to be fair I've beaten the game now 7 times, and I don't really remember what the story was actually about. That said people like Darklink also go "hur durr I can't continue playing it because it's too terrible in story" and to be fair I think all of you that do that miss the f*cking point. The game is intentionally crazy and stupid. It's not faking it, it's pretty self aware, and frankly plenty of its jokes land pretty nicely. It's tongue n cheek the way it should be, and sure every now and then Bayonetta herself enters the realm of shameless. Otherwise though it's not anywhere near lolipop chainsaw territory, it's not horrendousely lame like say a Bungie story, and this would offend me way more if it took itself seriously when it was in fact horse shit: see God of War.
  
  So yeah how does Bayonetta stack up only 3 years after its release, after Ninja Gaiden 2, and to the current day Beacon of Truth?
  
  Silly, Slutty, and Satisfying out of 10

  ---

  And to end things on a more positive note. Game found this: http://cdn.roflzone.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Posing-Guide.jpg
  
  Which I guess might be important to you types. Liquid is any of that shit even remotely true?
  
  
  
  https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/942140_332125070248746_1125030222_n.jpg
  
  Also that picture was to big, but the huge jugs required me to make a link again.
  
  Anyway other than that it's more Dark Souls this week, and getting through Mothers Day weekend so lets bring back my random ass questions at the end
  
  1: What did you get, or are getting your mother for Mothers Day because you aren't an ungrateful child?
  2: Name your poison for the eveningas in what are you drinking in terms of beer/liquor, or what are you smoking)
  3: Any summer plans? going away anywhere? what are you looking forward to in the summer?
  4: Do you actually like the movie Adaptation. If not, why?

  • Posted May 8, 2013 11:17 pm GMT
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