Court was today.  First appearance and charges read into the record.  I went, I don't know why really other than I wanted him to know i wasn't cowed by everything he's been doing, that despite his best efforts he hasn't broken me and no matter how much humiliation I have to suffer as a result of some of those charges coming to light I will not back up.  Six more charges have been added as a result of my medical records and that is a whole lot of grief for my ex husband.  I surprisingly take no happiness from that.  I keep thinking if he'd just left my son alone I would have kept his evil little secrets forever.  He looked defiant as always, and managed to throw me the finger on the way out of the courthouse.  I returned his salute with one of my own.  The only good thing that came out of it was hearing those charges read into the public record, I no longer felt bad about telling on him.  I felt angry that I kept it buried as long as I did. 

I'm lucky.  I've stared down the barrel of a shotgun and lived.  I've had a fractured skull delivered by someone who was supposed to love me, and lived.  I've been beaten to within an inch of my life and lived.  I have a life.  A good one.  I am finally happy, really happy for maybe the first time ever.  At least this is what I assume happy feels like.  I shielded my son enough so he has no lasting emotional scars.  I will wake up for the remainder of my days in my house, in my bed, beside someone who would take a bullet for me, not in a cage.  I am very lucky.