~ Destiny by sinner sought. Tragedy by power wrought ~

• 20Aug 08

  Even more confused than ever...

  Ho ho ho~

  I was crumbling alone, i didn't want to let anyone know about how i was feeling. I managed to open up to Quistis (Symon), but i still couldn't tell her my full story. I couldn't open up to anyone at all. I tried to look alright, at home, at work, everywhere.

  NOT that i dont' have any friends or anything, i'm not anti-social lol. Just that, i realize i couldn't talk to anyone about it. After near to a month of pacing back and forth, i finally had an answer to all my own questions.

  I made a decision, and that decision will remain made.

  I thought i was confused enough when i wasn't able to keep myself organized for the past month. But now, i am actually more confused than ever, even after making a decision.

  And it just strike myself, i am still unable to tell anyone about things, yet... *sighs*

  The unions i'm currently involved in, i'm absolutely very very sorry for being a selfish prick and didn't participate as actively. But I will work on the double now, for all the unions i'm an officer in.

  I'll be honest, the unions i'm currently involved in are not 100% strong yet, and things just keep happening. Officers leaving, lack of activity, etc. All these seem to be common problems for all unions. But when i lump all the troubles together, it's going to be quite a headache. I am not sure if i can pull it off. But i'm hoping all the officers i know will all stand together, and we'll overcome anything.

  A big sorry to all my friends. And a big thank you to my friends for bearing my self-centered actions. *kisses*

  I'm back.

  • Posted Aug 20, 2008 5:38 pm PT
  • Category: Opinion
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• 8Aug 08

  Just fell from the Mi'ihen Highroad down to the Old Road...

  Just how i feel...

  Ironic how i can relate my real life to a game... Anyway, this is how i'm feeling now.

  I know i've actually abandoned my post and neglected some unions and other internet activities.
  (I actually haven't switched on my computer for the past 5 days)

  But it's because of personal matters i don't wish to talk about. I'm sorry i had been gone, and i will still be, until i straighten out my life (or my thinking) again.

  I'm still trying to fix things at my end, and am trying to keep focused ahead. Fix? Hmm.. i dont' think it can be fixed. I think i just have to change my thinking...

  I just hope I can get over it soon. I want to go back to my old self too, on that point. I don't like how i'm behaving now either. I want to get back to post on GS again and i want to... just... return.

  Not that i'm busy with something else, in fact, i don't even know what i'm doing. I spent the whole of my yesterday crouching in my bed thinking of what i'm supposed to do. I could have spent those time gaming or something, ya? hmm... What on EARTH am i doing? uuuuhhh...

  haha~ I just laughed lol... It could be a good sign.

  • Posted Aug 8, 2008 1:18 am PT
  • Category: General
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• 28Jul 08

  GHOSTS!! (caps)

  My principle is "Stay away from them.."

  It's the time of the year again, it's the 7th Lunar Month, it's the Hungry Ghost Festival starting this Friday (1st August).

  A few things make this year's festival a little different.

  Recently, i've stupidly engaged myself in a horror game by Square Enix (Nanashi no Geemu, "774" in short). 774 is not THAT scary... but I am a scaredy cat. So... yeah, dumb as i am, i've even stopped playing it for now, after i got caught by this stupid ghost in a book store (in the game).

  Also, my parents are apparently obsessed with this Hong Kong variety show which interviews all sorts of people with horror experiences. And they're always watching that show in my presence, i WANT to ignore the show, BUT the TV volume is just so friggin loud!! *ugh*

  Most of all, i now work in a hospital! Fun eh?! No. I think my hospital's going to hold some praying ceremony/session some time soon. To pray for the spirits' blessings? Or to protect ourselves from these spirits... hahaha~ Either way, the hospital is considered a "dirty" place for us superstitious beings. I think i have to watch what i do too. There are A LOT of do's and don'ts. I just have to be more "careful" than ever, i guess. The most common caution i got is to avoid coming in "close proximity" with the newly dead. But it's not like it's something i can avoid so easily. It's like a ... daily thing... for me that i get to see the newly-dead being transported to the mortuary.

  Well... i should really take Symon's advice of tying my talisman around my neck. Just in case.

  Ugh... just seems like i'm more afraid than previous years LOL hahaha~

  HA! I AM SUPERSTITIOUS?! HELL YES i am!

  • Posted Jul 28, 2008 9:46 pm PT
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