Listen to me now, believe me later...

• 31Dec 09

  Ranty McRanterson

  Apologies to lazyhoboguy for stealing his blog title, it's been stuck in my mind for months and it certainly applies to today's blog. This here is a New Years Rant so that I can get this out of my system and approach my gaming in 2010 with a fresh start.

  Rant #1 - DiRT 2

  I've been trying to enjoy DiRT 2 online and I've just about had it. There are way too many punks online crashing into me that it's taking all the fun out of trying to actually race. If you don't get out to a big lead and get some space between you and everyone else, then it turns into a demoliton derby. I realize this rant is as old as online racing, but it really shows how petty and ugly people are - "gee, I'm not winning so I'll try and take everyone out." Yeah, that's classy. There's an achievement for clean racing online that I can't seem to get solely because I can't get through a race without some moron trying to take me out... and that's after racing over 40 times. Sad, just sad.

  Rant #2 - Secret of Monkey Island

  I bought this game for half price on Christmas Day from XBL. I'm a big fan of Tim Schaffer and had never played Monkey Island so I was really excited to finally play it. I was very much enjoying the game and it's humor until the end of the second chapter when I hit a game-stopping glitch. You're supposed to fire yourself off in a cannon from your pirate ship to Monkey Island... I had all the items I needed, checked multiple walkthroughs to make sure I was doing it properly, but it just WILL NOT WORK! I reload saves, go back and get all the right items, try again... nope. I'd have to replay the 3 hours to get back to that spot just to see if the glitch was still there. ARGH!

  

  I am so sick of this screen.

  Rant #3 - Prototype

  I made it to the final game-ending boss... This boss takes some serious work to beat. You've got to try and hammer on him with different techniques as he constantly tracks you and pummels you. You've got health sources around (in this game you consume soldiers to gain health) so that's not the problem. The problem is it can take you a long time to whittle this boss' health down and he's got a one shot kill. If he hits you with it there is nothing you can do but watch yourself die. How is that even remotely fair or enjoyable? I was so mad I even thought about contacting Radical and telling them I was mailing them my copy so they could stick it up their butt.

  

  Get hit by one of those strands and it's Game Over.

  Okay, rant over. I feel better.

  Happy New Years everyone!

  • Posted Dec 31, 2009 12:01 pm PT
  • Category: Rant
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• 22Dec 09

  Mele Kalikimaka

  Aloha to all, hope you are enjoying the holiday week, getting some time off with family, and playing some games! I have to work till tomorrow and then I'm off for a long weekend. Then next weekend during the New Years holiday I'll be moving to my new apartment, which I'm really excited about.

  In the meantime, I've been trying to wrap up Prototype before the end of the year so that I can put it on this year's completion list. I believe that will make 22 games completed in 2009, which is a new personal record - previous best was 18. I had a great year bargain shopping and ended up with alot more games than usual at cheap prices.

  Speaking of... I popped into my local Blockbuster again, my little gold mine of gaming lately, and came out with some decent titles, two of which unexpectedly showed up in Gamespot's 2009 awards - 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand and Velvet Assassin. I do appreciate a good mindless shooter and 50 Cent's game received some praise for being just that. Velvet Assassin also got praise from Kevin V. recently, and it was recognized by GS for its atmosphere, and I do like to experience creative settings in games. I know it can be frustrating, but what the heck, I got them both for $10. I also picked up Wanted for $10. I know it's short and not that good, but I liked the movie and want to curve some bullets.

  I got an Amazon gift card from my brother and I was thinking of buying some MS points with it. Shadow Complex is on sale for $10 this week and I need to still get the Mothership Zeta expansion for Fallout 3. I am considering getting Need for Speed: Most Wanted for $20 too as a full download. I've been wanting that for awhile but used copies sell for more than the DL price. I should have bought it years ago when I saw it for $10.

  In an effort to try and save other gamers money I posted my review for GH: Van Halen as soon as I could today. I tried to get the word out with my last blog post but it didn't get picked up by GS. I tweaked the review so it was better suited for that part of site (which means without my smartass humor). Take a look if you care too.

  

  Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Mele Kalikimaka my friends. Aloha!

  • Posted Dec 22, 2009 1:32 pm PT
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• 10Dec 09

  GH: Van Halen - Neversoft Phones It In

  When I was 15 there were two concerts I was absolutely forbidden to go to - Iron Maiden and Van Halen. After that I stopped asking for permission to go to concerts and made up excuses to slink off and go to shows Mom did not approve of. She thought Iron Maiden were devil worshippers and Van Halen were drunken obnoxious party animals. Wrong on the first one Mom, absolutely correct on the second, and I loved them for it.

  And I still do... "Mean Streets" from the "Fair Warning" album still gets me going and is one of my favorite rock songs of all time.

  

  At night I walk this stinkin' street past the crazies on my block
  And I see the same old faces and I hear that same old talk
  And I'm searching for the latest thing, a break in this routine
  I'm talkin' some new kicks, ones like you ain't never seen

  Insert nasty guitar lick from one of the primo guitar legends of my era. In my day, if you said "Eddie" everyone thought of Eddie Van Halen first, and Eddie the mascot of Iron Maiden second.

  So we come to the end of 2009... Activision and Neversoft decide to give Guitar Hero fans a game we have been crying for for a long time by following up their star treatments of Aerosmith and Metallica with a dedicated Van Halen effort. How did it turn out?

  The Good:

  The Music. Old Van Halen rocks harder than the poppier Sammy Hagar years. They were nasty, edgy, dirty young boys and Eddie's guitar playing was brilliant, dynamic and gut punching. David Lee Roth was the eptiome of what every mother did not want their son to be, but his showmanship and vocal work exuded "PARTY!" He was also one whacked out dude (and obviously still is). Alex Van Halen on drums and Michael Anthony on bass were tight and contributed a great deal to the bands party vibe. Van Halen, Van Halen II, 1984and Fair Warning are must listen to albums, with Diver Down and Women and Children First close seconds.

  The Bad:

  The Music. If you're a fan of the Sammy Hagar years and quality albums like 5150 and OU812 (I only like "Poundcake" from For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge) you're out of luck. All music with Sammy as the front man is excluded. That's some seriously big hits to leave out, and really is inexcusable. However the current band members feel about Sammy (and Eddie is known to hold a grudge like few others), leaving out the tunes from this era is just wrong.

  Michael Anthony. Not only is Sammy left out, but so is original bass player Anthony. This, to any diehard old school Van Halen fan, is just flat out wrong. He meant as much to the band and its image as anyone, and to slap him in the face like this publicly is disgusting. Instead, who do we get to play as? Wolfgang Van Halen, Eddie's young son...

  

  WHAT? Why the heck would I want to play as Wolfgang? What appeal does that have whatsoever? Is Wolfgang a legendary bass player? No, he's a stand-in... It's so awkward even seeing him in there, it's so obvious he doesn't belong that it's almost painful to see his avatar meekly meandering around the stage. It's like personally standing there watching Anthony get punched in the face and being constantly reminded of it while you're playing the game.

  The Avatars. See that reference photo above... see Eddie? That's old wrinkled Eddie. That's not the Eddie you unlock after playing for awhile, that's the Eddie you start with and the Eddie you'll be stuck playing with until you unlock the c1assic Eddie. Same goes for the whole band... so you're stuck playing with dudes that look like this:

  

  Who wants to play as a bunch of old guys? I'm an old guy and I wouldn't want to play as me, I'd take the younger version of me any day. Do I want to play as the David Lee Roth who girls had posters of in their bedrooms in 1982, or as washed up crazy DLR who looks more like a Beverly Hills hairdresser than a rock star?

  And even when you unlock the avatars of the way they used to look, Eddie just looks weird.

  

  The avatar you unlock for David Lee Roth is much better though and is the best one of the bunch. Oh yeah, you can unlock an alternative version of Wolfgang too... but considering he's only 18 years old, c1assic Wolfgang is a baby playing bass (I'm kidding, but that would be better than what you really get).

  The Game. Neversoft obviously made this during a transition between the old model of GH because you see elements left over from World Tour and prior games, and you see a few of the changes made for the recent GH 5. It sits uncomfortably in that region in between, so for GH regulars it will feel a little strange.

  No History. Unlike GH: Aerosmith, there are no cool unlockable interviews with the band. The care and attention to the band's legacy is missing and you will likely learn nothing about them from playing the game, other than they had alot of cool songs in the early years.

  Price. I got the game free for buying GH 5 during the promotion Activision ran in September. I see that the pre-order price listing is $60 when the game is officially released in a couple of weeks. This post is an attempt on my part to make sure you don't completely waste $60. No way, no how, even if you're a Van Halen fan like myself, should you be plunking down that kind of money on this. Wait till it's $20, that's about the most you should pay.

  I didn't cover the non-VH songs included in this because they seem completely out of place. At least with the Aerosmith game the band said those were bands that influenced them, they influenced, or they admired. With this game it seems like Neversoft had some tracks sitting around without a game to put them in and threw them in to take up the space that could have been used for the songs with Hagar singing lead. Jimmy Eat World? Weezer? Yellowcard? Huh??

  Unfortunately for those of us that really (used to) love the GH series, this is an obvious cash in.

  • Posted Dec 10, 2009 12:20 pm PT
  • Category: Editorial
  • 22 Comments
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